CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS ARE LIFETIME WOUNDS I'VE NEVER RECOVERED

 This story is a recap of my childhood and a way of giving myself closure from the things I have not yet fully reconciled with. I hope this story serves as a purpose and helps other kids understand the importance of their actions. I also hope it helps adults learn the effects of particular parenting styles.

The truth is, when we're living in the moment of our problems, we don't realize how bizzare they can be. For years I didn't even try to comprehend how off-balance my life has been too scared to speak up or even defend myself, my interpretation was always "shit happens" even though deep down, I knew that this shit was not supposed to happen and my mental state was deteriorating fast. Growing up in the home that I did gave me minimal options in regards to my feelings and expressing them.

From something as casual as being raised in a violent home,I've been a victim to, a witness to and part of alot I would say. A traumatic childhood isn't as little a deal as I've always seen it to be. For a while i told myself that I'd bounce back with no therapy, recap or real understanding of my past. However that's alot harder than it seems. Even while trying my best to ignore bad childhood memories, I found myself naturally having mental battles with myself more than often.

Born on late July many years back my life was a mediocre as it gets middle-class parents, a sibling or two and a place to call home.As the youngest I was very outgoing and charming and quickly made friends. Despite having a tooth gap and an awkward pigeon-toed walk, I didn't find myself to be any different from the rest of the kids and the other kids didn't seem to at first either.

As I began growing up I realized my home was different from the rest of the kids and my dad was also different. He would frequently get drunk and be violent the saddest part was we were only staying just the three of us my other siblings had families so he would be violent to me and mumzey.Occasionally I'd give myself courage to speak when somebody came around but people were so ignorant at that time.

It was about 4:30am when mumzey crept downstairs silently and made breakfast for dad some sausages and eggs but unfortunately the noise from the cooking woke dad up not forgetting he was drunk last night. Mumzey stood at the kitchen corner the  fear in her eyes hyperventilating as someone she was terrified of stood before her.My dad's face was filled with rage, I could clearly see them because I had silently opened my bedroom door

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN THE WHOLE NIGHT WOMAN?" Dad shouted at mumzey's face,"if y-you t-thougt-thought y-you be be out......"He squeaked sheepishly "WHAT HAVE I ASKED YOU?" Dad yelled back he got hold of mumzey's hoodie and shoved her against the door causing her not to breathe.

Mumzey's eyes widened as she was slammed against the door, "I-I can't b-breathe,,,," she choked out.My stomach lurched as I cried helplessly.

"Hm i think it's time for your daily beating and how much worse it going to be because you've done this astronomical. Dad said smirking with a fake sweet tone,He let go and mumzey fell on the wooden floor leading against the door. Dad came back from the kitchen I could hear his footsteps I slowly returned my bedroom door.

Before mumzey could say anything blood was oazing down her face,she was drifting in and out of consciousness." THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE WOMAN!"Then he stomped back to his room satisfied with what he had done.

"HELP,,,," mumzey yelled with a shaky voice passing out against the door. I quickly opened my bedroom door sneaked out of the house to call our neighbour for help."OH GOD,I NEED TO CALL 999!!! the neighbour panicked getting her phone out and somehow managing to type in 999 with her  shaking hand.

"H-HELLO?" She said almost crying,"Hello this is aga khan hospital what do you need?"they replied back.There's a young lady leaning against t-the door that has a m-massive wound o-on her head."Okay we will be there soon address?"They asked______,please hurry!she replied.

But seeing mumzey lying down unconscious and helpless broke me to me to my bones because i wanted to make it out there with her and someday maybe make her happy,she was my home and what made me feel a bit human she gave me hope regardless that everything was gonna be ok and the greatest  gift my mumzey has ever given me she has always believed in me she was the only person holding me together from madness.I could feel mumzey's gentle touch holding my hand,she was warm I heard her call my name.she opened her eyes to see me she had traces of cuts and bruises on her face and blood coming from her head, I was lying on her chest and gave her  a smile.

Chiwo;"d-dont cry mumzey looked at me her eyes widened up,please listen to me *cough* I don't have much time my voice is cracking,mumzey said."

Mama kuku;"don't say that you'll be fine,just fine hearing those words from mumzey crushed me.

Finally the parademics and police got home, I really can't tell who called the police officers though."ARE THE DOORS OPEN "? one of the police men asked.We're going in to get the young lady said a parademic ,they carried mumzey onto a stretcher and into the ambulance clearing of her wounds,a little on the way mumzey was starting to regain consciousness again her eyes fluttering open.

Mumzey had to have stitches from the wound on her head and was to be getting it out hopefully after 5 days.Yeah mumzey survived the tragedy and we unfortunately went back to that mysterious hell of a house again.she had quite made friendship with(MAMA KUKU)the neighbour that rescued her and was ready to tell her what really happened that day as she needed to get it out her.she couldn't tell her everything but just part of the situation,just as she was thinking about her mama kuku walks in " Hello she said waving. I know it's hard to but you need to tell me what really happened,,,,,I've given you sometime to warm up so are you ready to share with me?" She asked sternly but keeping the soft tone looking at her sorrowfully.

But before mumzey could even begin sharing her situation.Dad walks in"WHERE IS SHE AM GONNA KILL HER holding a golden knife on his right hand,with his pink shirt torn,drunk his brown pants flooded with blood his face bruised I quickly took mumzey's phone before the situation to worsen and called one of my siblings hercy to come as soon as possible.

Just few  minutes after calling hercy mumzey collapsed she couldn't stomach the trauma no more she was just trying to recover from the previous incident she had....WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK HAPPENED AFTERWARDS???? (Leave it in the comment section)

So dad never really changed anyway he remained an alcoholic for 5 more years and mumzey oh mumzey she became stronger for he kids she did everything in all we shifted from that house and left him  there,life became peaceful again without his presence and his violence all over the place.But what of chiwo??some y'all might be asking yourselves,chiwo began to recover but it really affected her it took her a minute to recover she fought mental battles for a while to be honest it has taken me almost a lifetime to recover from that I found it hard to recover but im kinda recovering yeah let's say kinda for now but then again my perspective towards men changedfrom my dad's violence..

       ~THE END ~